Sandi Morris journal: Not a thing to lose

Not a thing to lose

By Sandi Morris

After a horrible practice, my coach looked at me and said “I could just bring you back into a short approach so we can get things straightened out and forget USA’s. You have your whole career to compete there. Now is the time to focus on preparing you for outdoor season so you can win a National and SEC title.” I stared back at him wondering if he could see straight through the wall I was putting up…did he know how badly I wanted to go compete at USAs? He must have. I had been training so hard since the beginning of August, and USAs gave me something to word towards. He was right… I do have the rest of my career – probably ten years or so- to go win USA Indoors. So why in the world did I want to go to it this year? I guess my answer to that question is I am red-shirting, and being the type of person who lives for goals, I wanted at least one meet that is somewhat difficult to qualify for and very difficult to win. When I found out I was more than just qualified for the meet, but ranked 5th out of everyone going into it, I wanted to use it as a chance to make an impression on all the important people watching. I also liked the thought of having nothing to lose and the whole world to gain. It didn’t matter if I went there and didn’t jump well. All that could come from it was good. At a meet like SECs or NCAAs it definitely matters if I don’t jump well; I don’t get points for the team and I lose a chance at a collegiate title, and we only have a limited number of those (8 to be specific.) I figured going to USA Indoors this year would help me get back into the swing of competing with other great jumpers. Heck, there would probably be more competition than any college meet I will go to in the future.

After having a few great practices and a few not-so-great but not-bad-enough-to-make-Coach-question-my-abilities kind of practice, I was on a flight to Albuquerque. April Bennett picked me up from the airport (previously her last name was Steiner- until she married), and she very generously offered for me to stay with her in the hotel and show me the ropes. We had spent some time around each other previously when she came back to Fayetteville to train with Coach Compton. I knew we would get along well. We are both outgoing and bubbly (and a little weird!) I knew it would be a good match. 

I felt so relaxed on the whole trip. I was staying with April who is awesome, we went to the hotel and chilled out, we had some great food, and I took a hot bath to stretch my muscles. I felt great and was having positive thoughts about the competition already, and I had only been in New Mexico for a couple hours. I can always tell when I am at away meets if I am going to perform well before we even get to the track. If I feel good, am comfortable and relaxed, and am thinking positive thoughts, then good things are bound to happen. I remember thinking to myself “Sandi, you have absolutely nothing to lose. Just go out, have fun, and show the world what you got.”

My first trip down the runway came just as quickly as the plane trip to NM did. One minute I was seeing the results online that I was ranked 5th, the next I was on the plane, and the next I was warming up. It all happened so fast. Before the competition starts, I like to write down the bar progressions on a piece of paper and write out the X’s and O’s as I make and miss bars. I like the O’s a lot more than the X’s! It makes the competition slow down for me in my mind so I am not rushing so much to get back on the runway. I can look at the sheet of paper and see each jump as a little shape. “Let’s make some more O’s,” I said in my head as I got on the runway for my first attempt at my opening bar. 

And that is exactly what I did.

I made 4.26, 4.41, and 4.51 on my first attempts. Three bars, three jumps, no problem. The bar then went to 4.56. I had already PRd by a little tiny centimeter (my previous PR was 4.50), but in my book, simply matching a PR means you are progressing because that height is no longer as difficult if you have achieved it more than once. But…I really wanted that 4.56 bar. My first two shots at it were sloppy, but my last attempt I almost had it. I brushed it with my left leg as I went over and I laid on the mat frozen. I thought to myself “NOBODY BREATH!” because if they do it will fall…well, somebody must have breathed because the darn thing wobbled one last bit and fell off! I slammed my hands into the matt and screamed “CRAP!” But I still had a huge smile on my face. I had not even been thinking about placement until I glanced over at my dad, standing in the crowd, and he held up four fingers. I had gotten fourth place.

I hopped off the mat and pranced over to my pole bag. I now think back to it and wonder if anyone laughed at my fairy-like dance I did across the track. I had set a goal for myself; PR. I achieved it. I had set another goal for myself; finish in a higher place than I came in ranked. I achieved it. Even though I didn’t get that 4.56 bar, I knew I would get it soon in the future, and hopefully a couple bars after that. It was a successful day that I will never forget, and I hope that the people watching won’t forget me either.